RELEASED: Living From Our True Identity, Part 6
SCRIPTURE
For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. - 1 Corinthians 13:12
MEDITATION
Tears welled up in my eyes as my daughter walked to claim her award. I was proud of her, but my emotion ran deeper than just that. I sensed God saying, “It’s because this is how you feel loved.” Awards. Accolades. Achievements. But if I fell short, I felt like a failure.
A counselor once told me, “You don’t want to just do your best, you want to be the best.” The truth stung. Competing and proving myself better than others felt critical.
Once, when I was a teen, my dad told me that I didn’t have to earn his love. Even though I “knew” that, the sobs that burst out of me then told another story.
As an adult, a coach wondered aloud to me, “Does Ruth know who she is?” We’d been evaluating my gifts, skills, and interests to discern a direction, and they didn’t seem to fit into a clear-cut category.
I realized that I was not just the sum of my parts and the gifts I carried—or the faults and failures. And I felt God pull my eyes in a different direction—away from me and toward him.
I stopped asking, “Who am I?” And started asking, “Who are you?”
I asked, “Show me your face, Lord,” and the more I looked, the more I saw him.
I saw his character. His gifts. The blood he shed for me. The hope he had for me. Sometimes I saw the tears he shed on my behalf or because I grieved his heart. And I saw the grace in his gentle smile. Best of all, I saw the love in his eyes for me!
In that “reflection,” I began to see in me what didn’t fit with him or how he’d intended me to be. He began to peel away the vain efforts and false images and beliefs I carried and replace them with his Spirit and character.
I wanted to reflect him to the world, so I began to ask, “Lord, how will people see you more in me?”
REFLECTION
Ask the Father to show you himself.
Then ask him (and journal what you sense from him):
What do you want to show me, to share with me, about who you are?
How do I feel loved? Am I trying to earn love in any way?
What vain efforts or false images or beliefs am I carrying? What do you want me to do with them?
What truth do you want to share with me?
How do you want to show me you love me today?
How can I better reflect you to others around me?
I trust the Father to speak truth in love to you; as you surrender to him, his heart will begin to heal yours.
I bless you now with Psalm 34:5:
“Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.”
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ruth Happ serves on the Lead Team of Novo’s Movement Division, coaching, equipping, and resourcing disciple-makers in local, national, and international contexts. She and her husband Ricky, who also works with Novo, live with three of their four children, two quirky cats, and a Field Golden, in Nampa, Idaho. Ruth enjoys exploring nature and new places (especially coffee shops), laughing with friends and family, hip hop dancing, and worshiping God in harmony with others.