RELEASED: Living From Our True Identity, Part 5
SCRIPTURE
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. - Galatians 1:10 (NIV)
MEDITATION
Growing up in a small, rural “Christian” community that boasted of safety and upright living, the idea of addiction felt distant, scary, and confined to those living in serious sin and brokenness. I felt far removed. And better than them. Surely addiction would never be a part of my story. Yet, it has been. Not the easy-to-identify type of addiction, though. One far more masked. An addiction in church clothes.
Early on in life I experienced the “high” of peoples’ approval. It made me feel good about myself. It gave me significance and worth. And I wanted more. If I started feeling insecure or not enough, I’d need another “hit” and figure out a way to maintain approval. On the outside I wanted to portray a hard-working, confident, fruitful missionary, when on the inside I was feeling confused, tired, unmotivated, and disconnected. Serving Christ with a smile on my face, while on the inside, desperately chasing worth through validation that would never satisfy.
I’ve had to face the truth that I am an addict. I’ve been addicted to approval for decades.
Believing the lie that I’m not enough apart from the approval of others has been very costly. Not only to me, but also to those I care about deeply and to our ministry. It’s led to behaviors such as striving, control, comparison, and deceit. And it’s been exhausting. This broken part of me, that I’ve relegated to the shadows, hasn’t been experiencing the liberated, joy-filled life that is already mine.
It seems Paul could relate. “Am I trying to please people?” I can imagine his long list of accomplishments and accolades found in Philippians 3:4-6 had felt exhausting! Paul had lived a life of striving; working hard to attain righteousness and the approval of others.
But then Jesus met him!
Paul’s encounter with the living Jesus (Acts 9) began to change everything! He began to understand his true identity. We learn more about Paul’s process in Philippians 3:7-9:
“But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him…”
Paul went from striving to receiving. From being found in his accolades to being found in Christ. From people pleasing to serving Christ alone.
As I’ve taken time to meet with Jesus through inner healing prayer and spiritual direction, he’s been replacing the lies I’ve come to believe with the truth of his love for me and who I really am.
My addiction to approval is losing its power as Jesus does his work of restoring my true identity, and as I extend grace and care to the broken parts of me that are being healed. More and more I’m experiencing the liberated, joy-filled life that is mine.
REFLECTION
Take some time to ask the Holy Spirit to bring to mind any masked addictions in your own life. What have they cost you?
Confess them to the Lord and ask the Holy Spirit how he wants you to move forward in finding your true value and worth in him.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Amber Moen is serving the Lord in southern California alongside her husband, Deric, and their three amazing kids, Ava, Molly, and David. They have ministered around the world as Novo missionaries for over 20 years, and are a part of the Movement Division, activating others in becoming everyday disciple-makers. Amber is passionate about investing in the next generation and helping others walk in more freedom. She enjoys quality time with her family, being in nature, hospitality, and cheering for her kids’ sporting events!
Note: The phrase “addictions in church clothes” is found in the book Healing What’s Within by Chuck DeGroat. A must read according to Amber!