My Only Fear Was Not Going: One Woman’s Call to Afghanistan

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She was only one flight away from the country she’d been praying for and trying to get to for eight long years when the Taliban took over Afghanistan and the borders closed. But God’s call and purposes are bigger than any international crisis...


I read the story of the Burnhams, In the Presence of My Enemies, when I was a teenager. The Burnhams were a missionary couple, kidnapped and held captive for a year by Muslim terrorists in the Philippines, where I’m from. As I read, I saw myself in the author, Gracia Burnham. “I’m her,” I thought. I didn’t understand why I felt this way. “Why am I seeing myself in this strong woman?” I related to her passion and courage, but I didn’t understand what was happening inside of me. Looking back, I think I was feeling the call to cross-cultural missions. I didn’t pay attention at the time. All I knew was that I wanted to be the same kind of Christian as her.

My real call to missions came while I was attending university. There was a week of prayer and fasting at my church, and we were worshipping together every night. One night, the worship leader read Psalms 2:8, “Ask me, and I will make the nations your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possession.” She challenged us to ask the Lord if he was giving us a specific nation as our inheritance. Immediately, I saw the Afghan flag waving. “Lord, if this is really my inheritance, confirm it to me,” I prayed. I saw the flag while praying on three consecutive nights. It was confirmation. The Lord was calling me to Afghanistan. When I understood that this was God’s purpose for me I felt overwhelmed, but a passion to follow that calling burned inside of me. 

Afghanistan is a war-torn country, but I wasn’t afraid to go there. I’d never thought of it as a dangerous place. It seemed to me that the real danger was what would happen to the Afghan people if I didn’t go. Not because I was so important, but because their lack of access to the gospel broke my heart. I knew how much I needed the gospel in my own life, and I had grown up hearing about Jesus.

I wasn’t afraid of going—I was afraid of not going! “OK, you’ve given me this inheritance,” I prayed, “but how do I get there?” I started looking for opportunities to go to Afghanistan or serve Afghan refugees. I tried going through my church, through humanitarian organizations, and even with the UN. But nothing worked out. Every time I tried to go and the door didn’t open I felt frustrated and afraid of not being able to do what God was calling me to do. But my mentors saw it differently. “Just because God called you now doesn’t mean he’s going to send you right now,” they told me. “You have to be prepared.” 

Encountering all of those closed doors was actually the first preparation step. God used it to rid me of my pride and self reliance. I was just finishing my time at the university and thought my platform to get to Afghanistan would be my talents—what I had or what I could do. The closed doors showed me it wasn’t going to work like that. God was going to have to make a way.

It would actually be eight years before God would open that door—eight years of unexpected places, positions, and preparation.

The first four years were spent working in the corporate world and then starting a campus ministry in my own province. Then a door opened for my first cross-cultural mission...to Uruguay, South America. “But Lord,” I prayed, “Uruguay is not Afghanistan. Why am I being sent there?” It was a test of my obedience. I humbled myself and went. 

Afghanistan was a Muslim country; in contrast, Uruguay was practically atheist/agnostic. Doing ministry in that context was very stretching for me. But I learned some valuable lessons, like the necessity of building relationships before sharing the gospel, and the importance of studying the culture and language enough to speak to the soul. After two years in South America, God moved me to an Islamic part of Indonesia. For three months I got to practice sharing the gospel in creative ways, and I learned a lot about working on a team. 

Dependence on the Lord, obedience, learning culture, building relationships, working toward team unity. These were the invaluable lessons God taught me during eight years of not going to Afghanistan (and cross-cultural missionaries will tell you just how important these lessons are). 

In January of 2021, eight years after first receiving my call, I was back at my church in the Philippines, participating in the same week of prayer and fasting. During that week I tried knocking on doors to Afghanistan again, reaching out to mission organizations and looking for ways to serve refugees. And this time things were different. I met the leader of a mission organization that was specifically focused on reaching Afghan people. It was an open door. When I realized I might just be two or three steps away from ministering in Afghanistan or an Afghan community I was overwhelmed and incredibly grateful. 

“Alright Lord,” I said, “if it took me eight years to be prepared, then so be it.” The fire inside of me to reach Afghans hadn’t died down at all despite the time that had passed and all the other places I’d been; in fact, the Lord had actually increased my passion to go. I knew that once I got there and had the chance to start building ministry foundations, I would want to stay as long as possible—even if things got dangerous. “If you send me, don’t pull me out,” I told the mission organization. I didn’t want to be reckless or throw my life away—but the goal was to be there long-term, and personal safety didn’t seem nearly as important as reaching the Afghan people. 

God kept paving the way forward. I started attending trainings and mobilization meetings. I was placed in a team, and began the faith journey of fundraising for long-term ministry. I started studying the language of the Afghans (my fourth language). My team worked out a way to enter the country with an NGO. We were almost ready. I was just one flight away from the nation I’d been praying for for eight years.

And then the border closed. On August 15 the Taliban took over the capital, Kabul, and there was a frenzied exodus out of Afghanistan. It wasn’t a complete surprise to us; our friends in Afghanistan had been warning us that we should come as quickly as we could. But it was frustrating to be so close to going and then have things shut down again. 

My faith in God’s purposes was stretched again. I realized that I needed to shift my focus away from the situation and back to God. After all, he was the author of this mission, not me. He had been the one to call me in the first place. The plan had changed, but God hadn’t—and neither had my calling to the Afghan people.

Sometimes during my eight years of waiting, people would question that calling: “Why do you need to do cross-cultural work? There’s plenty to do here in the Philippines.” I would tell them, “If I do not go, I will be disobeying the Lord. I have to go where he is calling me. I have to obey. There is no other option.” That’s just as true today. 

My team still believes the Lord will send us. We know he can open the door again, even under the Taliban government. For now, we are in a discernment process, asking the Lord for divine appointments and networking. The pressing need at the moment is among Afghan refugees in the countries bordering Afghanistan, and some of these countries are less strict about humanitarian projects and sharing the gospel. We’re praying for direction on which of those border countries God wants to send us to.

As my team watches what is happening in Afghanistan, we are moved to pray more. We’re also realizing that we need many more hands in prayer. We need more prayer warriors, because that’s the only way to break the strongholds there. 

My vision is to see a young generation of Afghans—even whole families—experiencing the gospel firsthand. I want to watch them lead others to Jesus and hear the songs of praise they create. The Taliban has tried to shut Jesus out and make these things illegal—even music is not allowed—but I want to see the light and hope of Jesus break through their walls. This is what God called me for and I believe that God is calling others as well. We just need to listen and be willing to follow.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR

This testimony is from a young Filipino woman who is about to be sent to the Afghan people through a Spanish-speaking mission organization affiliated with Novo.