From Bashful to Bold: How One Leader’s Transformation Is Transforming Her Community

When I was growing up in my home country of Kenya, my parents weren’t really there for me. There was no one to mold me, be close to me, see what I was capable of or affirm what I could do. What’s more, if I made a mistake I was beaten, so I was afraid to try things. Even as an adult I would think, “How will people see me if I make this mistake? Am I doing it right?” I didn’t have confidence in myself and felt like I was lost. I was always trying to “find” myself throughout adulthood.

Still, I knew what I was most passionate about—playing and coaching soccer. I loved it. As a young adult I got to play in Kenya’s premiere women’s league. I never got to play professionally—which grieved my heart—because I lacked resources (to bribe a talent scout, which is sadly often necessary here). Later on I was able to work part-time with Kenya’s national development team, helping young players in a similar situation to mine get recruited to professional teams in other countries. It was so meaningful to me to help other Kenyans with limited resources have the opportunity I never had.

Then in 2018 I learned about a new opportunity for coaches in Nairobi. A Novo/InnerCHANGE missionary, Brad, was forming a program to apprentice sports ministry coaches. Typical ministry trainings for coaches were short term—a weekend or week at the most. This program would be very different: seven months to dig deep into skill, character, and heart formation. I later learned Brad and his wife hoped this training might unearth local leaders with a call similar to their own—to make disciples of Jesus among the marginalized people of Nairobi through sports ministry. They called the training program Deep Coaching.

When I first learned about Deep Coaching, I was so curious. “What is this?” I thought. At that time in my life I wanted to follow God but I felt so out of place at church, because I didn’t come from that background. I thought going to church on a Sunday was the only way I could honor God, but it scared me to go—people were dancing there, and praying for three hours straight, and I didn’t fit in. When Brad told me I could do the things I loved—playing and coaching soccer—and honor God through them, I knew I wanted to be part of the training. I wanted to be in a place where someone was molding me to know God. 

In the first seven months we went through a lot of topics about sports coaching—how to come up with a training session, how to make a season plan for your team, leadership skills. We did personality assessments (I had never experienced such a thing: it described me so well—who I was and how I related with people—that I was shocked!). We looked at our life stories and discovered ways God had made each of us unique, with special passions and skills that reflected his glory. And we spent a lot of time meditating and reflecting on the book of Luke. 

I stayed on after the first seven months for phase two of the training. We learned ministry tools, philosophies, and methodologies, like Discovery Bible Study and Disciple Making Movements. We read about Local Houses of Prayer—small groups committed to praying blessings over specific people in their cities—and spent multiple hours in prayer together. I learned about people of peace, and started praying to find them in my neighborhood, Githurai. Githurai is a large community in Nairobi with limited resources, so I specifically prayed that I could find people who wouldn’t just see the problems there but also the possibilities of what God might do. The Deep Coach trainees took turns visiting each other’s communities and doing outreach days, just to get out of our personal comfort zones and engage with youth and leaders from other communities. 

Phase two was supposed to end in March 2020—the same time Covid hit. But rather than shut down our ministry training during that critical time, Brad decided to extend it, move it mostly online, and brainstorm with us about how we could serve the people who were hurting in our neighborhoods. 

Our first initiative during Covid was to organize several food distributions to those most in need. In my neighborhood, several prayer and Discovery Bible Study groups were formed as a result (read that story in more detail here).

In June, a few months into the Covid shutdowns, my son turned seven. I had planned to do a birthday party for him for the first time, but I was hesitant to do it. I know a lot of kids who don’t have the privilege of celebrating their birthdays. But I thought, “What if I do it, but for the community, so other kids can experience it too?” So I cooked a lot of food for kids in the neighborhood. They came to our house to pick up lunch and supper, and there was even extra to take home for their parents. I noticed their longing to be together, to be happy and rejoice. There were no good opportunities for that at that time. “Wow, I didn’t know people would love this,” I thought.

I shared about the birthday with Brad, and discovered that this need for gathering had also been on his heart. A lot of people were suffering in isolation in their houses. No one was thinking about how to care for their neighbors anymore. I wanted to honor our country’s Covid rules while still finding a creative way to “bring people together.” Thinking about the success of the birthday meal, Brad asked, “Do you think you could do that again in Githurai?” I didn’t know how I would do it, but I set a goal to cook for kids in the neighborhood twice a month. “If I do this, who will help me?” I thought. “How will I do it?” I knew I had to try.

I was still trying to figure out how to put together this new initiative when I got into a conversation with another lady in my neighborhood. “What do you want to achieve in this world?” I asked her. “What would you like to do in the future?” 

“You know what?” she responded. “I like kids. Given the chance, I would serve kids in the future.”

“What?!” I said. “We are starting now!”

“How?” she said.

”We are looking for a home where we can cook for kids twice a month. We have the funds to do it, but not the place.”

“You can use my house! It’s so big!” she exclaimed. “It has a very big kitchen. You can come and cook and I can invite some of my friends. You can cook together!” She was so excited.

Here was one of those people in Githurai that God had prepared to help reach the community! She already had the feeling that she needed to serve kids, but didn’t think she had what it would take. I already had what was needed (a plan and funds) and was just looking for people to help!

So we began right away and we’ve been doing it twice a month ever since. Other ladies join us to cook. We share scriptures together. We laugh. We rejoice. It’s awesome! And every time, so many kids come—50, sometimes even more than 70! We sing, share basic truths about God, and send the kids away with a scripture to share with their families. It’s been an opportunity to engage with the parents as well, because I have to talk to the parents to arrange for the kids to come. It’s become another creative way to see a gospel movement begin in Githurai.

I’ve learned so much about discipleship through Deep Coaching. I used to believe what the majority of Kenyans believe—that people can only worship God on Sundays, and the rest of the days they are free to do whatever they want. Now I know that I am honoring God in every part of my life. I am honoring him on the field. I am honoring him with the people around me, in my community, through various tasks. I try to use every opportunity that I get, with all my gifts and talents, to create places where people—kids, women, my neighbors—are invited toward God.

When the Deep Coaching training ended, I decided to join the Deep Coaching Missional Core Team, along with one other apprentice from the training and Brad. The three of us are continuing to look for ways to make disciples in our neighborhoods. Since there are a lot of barriers to forming a soccer program in Githurai (for example, there isn’t a good open space to play soccer), I’m learning a new sport to gather with and disciple young women in my neighborhood—jump rope! I’m working with another young leader from my neighborhood to design a full jump rope program. My passion is still soccer, but my vision now is to serve God and reach the women here in whatever way I can find!

You know, when I started the Deep Coaching program, I was so shy because of the lack of confidence I had developed during childhood. Through Deep Coaching I suddenly had a caring mentor—Brad—speaking into my life. And now I’ve not just grown in confidence, I’ve become bold! The others from the training program look at me and say, I can’t believe this is the same Lydiah we met in Deep Coaching session one. Now they see the bold me, the bold leader. I’ve become courageous and outgoing. I’m ready to mingle with people, ready to make mistakes, ready to learn. I’m a free person. And I’m excited to share that joy with everyone around me.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR

This story comes to us from Lydiah Aswani, a new local leader with the InnerCHANGE Kenya team. Her team leader Brad describes the growth he’s observed in her this way: “I’ve really seen her grow in the confidence to hear from God on a personal level—to read the scriptures for herself and hear his voice for herself. And then to move and act based on the movement of the Holy Spirit. She also has really natural missionary skills and great instincts about ministry. In a brief time of living from this posture she’s shown an ability to quickly identify people of peace and she’s savvy in engaging them in conversation and calling them to something more in terms of serving their community.” Novo is blessed to have emerging leaders like this in our midst.