My friend, Maureen, had been a missionary in Honduras for many years. Maureen works with the poorest of the poor, who have no real medical resources. God started giving Maureen the gift of healing in that community—miraculous healings, like tumors the size of grapefruits disappearing the night before surgery. Maureen wouldn’t say she has the gift of healing. But seeing God heal hundreds of people in miraculous ways has grown her faith and confidence in his willingness to heal—a confidence I haven’t had at the same level.
You see, my son David has had a six year history with chronic pain from irritable bowel syndrome—a diagnosis doctors give when they can’t figure out the cause. The doctors determined it was probably related to stress. My son is very sensitive, and his pain started around the time that I had the first of five major surgeries and six other surgical procedures in the span of five years. I think during that season as he watched my pain, he internalized it in some way.
We’ve had tons of prayer for David over these six years, but nothing changed. Last year was his senior year of high school and a really hard year physically. David missed half a week of school every week and ended up finishing the year in an online school. He missed Homecoming and many other events that make senior year significant. The summer before college, David had a brief break from the pain, and we were hopeful he would have a different experience at college. But as soon as college started it all came back. It was so disappointing. Two months in, he was consistently missing three days of class a week.
Around the time my son went away to college, my husband and I decided to join Novo’s Spiritual Authority Cohort, where we were constantly being reminded of God’s authority and desire to heal. I’ve always believed in physical healing, but there has definitely been some discouragement during the last six years. Being in a community that reminded me that God does work in this way was helpful. By that point I was desperate for healing for my son.
In October, I asked Maureen—who has witnessed so many miraculous healings—to come with me to pray for David at his college.
When we showed up, David was in a fetal position because of the pain. He was so miserable. We started praying. After a while Maureen checked in and asked what level his pain was at. It had decreased slightly, and over time we were able to help him get out of bed and into a chair. We just kept praying. After two hours of prayer, David’s pain level was at a zero! Maureen had David stand up and move around. “I don’t have any pain!” he told us.
I jumped up and hugged him, and then just started bawling. I’d been watching my son in pain and praying for his healing—without seeing any answers—for six years. I was so grateful!
That time of prayer for David was significant for him on several levels. I think it was almost like a second conversion experience for him—a time where he made a more adult decision to submit and surrender his life to God, with a deeper understanding of what it really meant.
Later that week, one of David’s friends hurt their ankle. Ankle pain? he thought. That’s nothing compared to six years of pain. “God just healed me,” he told his friend, “so I want to try praying for you.” David didn’t remember the specific language Maureen had used, but he tried to imitate what she had said—praying for healing directly, with the authority of Jesus and in Jesus’s name. The person he prayed for felt a decrease in pain immediately. The next day David checked back with them and the pain was completely gone! David didn’t have specific training or experience with healing, but knowing what he went through and that God was able to heal him gave him faith for other people. “It’s so cool that God used me to heal others!” he told me. I agreed.
Trusting God When He Heals—And When He Doesn’t
For me, the healing journey has been hard, laced with disappointment and many honest conversations with God. While my son was finally healed after six years of waiting, my own physical pain—related to all those surgeries—continues. And yet I choose to still trust in Jesus, to keep asking, even though healing hasn’t happened in the way I hoped. I’ve had to mourn and lament that this side of heaven we’re in a fallen world, and sometimes we’re not going to see healing the way we will in heaven. But I’m learning to surrender and tell myself, “Sometimes we don’t get healed, but I’m going to choose to trust Jesus anyway.”
As believers, having spiritual authority means we have access to spiritual power, because of Jesus’s Spirit in us. We’re all vessels of God’s Spirit to bless the world. We are conduits for God’s power to work in a situation, but we have to relinquish control of how God’s going to work. We’re not God, so we can’t determine when something’s going to happen and when it’s not. We can always ask. And then we trust that God’s going to do what he’s going to do.
Not being healed hasn’t diminished my confidence in the authority God has given me. I haven’t been part of many physical healings besides my son, but I’ve seen God use me powerfully in other ways, to bring emotional and spiritual healing to many people.
The times and places and reasons God chooses to heal are still a mystery to me. David’s healing was several months ago, and the pain hasn’t come back. I don’t know why that was the moment God chose to heal David—but it’s carried me forward with hope for my own pain.
These days, trusting Jesus is a daily decision—and not always an easy one—as I continue to wrestle with pain. I live in the tension between having faith for things like healing, and surrendering to the mysteries of God that I don’t understand. But I think I’ve gotten to a place where I’m comfortable holding that tension. I can’t control everything, but I still ask. When I pray for healing and it doesn’t happen, I say, “Maybe next year!” Maybe my own healing will come in 2020!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sandy Schaupp and her husband live in Los Angeles, CA. They have served on staff with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship for 27 years. Sandy is a spiritual director who has a deep joy helping others discover where God is present in their lives. Sandy shares that while the content of Novo’s Spiritual Authority Cohort has been a review of things she and her husband know from serving with InterVarsity, they are very glad their church community has the opportunity to be exposed to the material. “For people who haven’t experienced this, I want it for them!”