Have you ever felt triggered by a passage of scripture?
Personally, I’ve always found the words of Jesus to be counter-cultural, inspiring, thought-provoking, or comforting. Even the difficult things Jesus said have always rung true in my spirit. But recently, on the other side of a tragic loss in our family, I’ve found myself unexpectedly triggered by some of Jesus’s words. This shifting experience of scripture has complicated my faith journey, and forced me to wrestle with new questions about prayer and the sovereignty of God.
By way of example, let’s look at a passage together where Jesus is speaking to the disciples concerning the grief they will have to walk through in his absence:
John 16:19–24 || Jesus saw that they wanted to ask him about this, so he said to them, “Are you asking one another what I meant when I said, ‘In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me’? Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.
Reading this passage with the lenses that color my world, these words of Jesus sting in a way they never would have before we experienced the stillbirth of a child. The pain my wife experienced birthing our daughter wasn’t easily forgotten. Our joy was not complete. And though we asked for a miracle in his name, we still found ourselves in the ashes of a tragic loss.
How could this be?
I can still recall the shock I felt when I saw Cory Ozbun’s email. The subject line read “Our Elizabeths.” Chills began crawling up my arms. We were only four days removed from the trauma of the greatest loss we’d ever experienced, the stillbirth of our daughter Elizabeth Joy Lohrmann. I opened the email with a mixture of trepidation and curiosity.
As I read Cory’s message I was moved to tears and overwhelmed by the unfolding of a most unlikely tale of shared grief. Nearly five years prior to our loss, the Ozbuns had also walked through the pain of a stillbirth with a daughter whose name also happened to be Elizabeth Joy!
I could not believe it.
How was it possible that another family with the same missionary organization (Novo) had already journeyed through the stillbirth loss of a baby with the same name as our daughter? I think it’s safe to say those odds are only explainable in heaven.
It didn’t take long before we found ourselves on Zoom with the Ozbuns learning about their grief journey and drawing wisdom from the pain of their loss.
Two and half years have passed since Cory emailed me, and I still can’t wrap my head around the unlikeliness of our family’s common ground of loss. The only rationale I can offer is that God is intimately acquainted with our circumstances, both the joyous and the tragic. It’s what my wife and I have begun to refer to as a Severe Mercy.
While we continue to wrestle with the theological implications of our experience, and find ourselves triggered at times by scripture most people would simply gloss over, the shepherding care and goodness of God remain undeniable. Our connection with the Ozbuns is one of several “just-in-time” windows of hope the Lord has opened up for us during the darkest season our souls have ever known. Early on in our grief journey we found ourselves surprised by joy. By God’s grace we find ourselves today more often surprised by grief.
The abundant joy of the Lord is a buoyant force fit to weather hardship and sustain the human heart in unexplainable ways.
Have your life experiences impacted your relationship with scripture?
What lenses do you wear as you read the Bible?
Can you identify any “severe mercies” in your faith journey? If so, I encourage you to take note of them and thank God for his love and knowing care for you (even if it’s bittersweet).
Suggested Reading (for those who are grieving as well as for those who are supporting others in their grief): “A Grace Disguised: how the soul grows through loss” by Jerry Sittser
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Simeon Lohrmann joined Novo in 2014 as the team leader of RYFO, a nationwide musician ministry. Currently he serves on the Mission Advancement Team as the head of Mobilization and Digital Marketing. Simeon and his wife Johanna live in Chattanooga, TN with their three kids, Judah (8), Adalynn (6) and Justice (4). In addition to his work with Novo, Simeon also serves part-time in the worship arts ministry of their local church (The Mission Chattanooga).